Sunday, March 12, 2017

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Thinking of you

I know if you were here you would say "I told you so", but we all make mistakes.  Some are bigger than others.  But at least I kept the receipts and kept texts.  I hate doing this because for 4+ years Anthony was a caring guy, but he has turned hostile.

I talked to your friend Al the other day, and regularly talk to your dad via facebook.  He is doing good, he married a girl named Jackie who is pretty nice, I've met her.

Really wish you hadn't played that game, you may be with us today.  I Really miss you Ricky, R I P

Love Your Mom

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Well Ricky, Still missing you.  I got a cd from church on how to deal with tragedy.  I am going to watch it soon.

I finally got my own home and my horses are with me along with some one elses horses.  The plan was that we would be together and take care of the horses and property, but that's not going to happen now.  I asked a question cause I could not understand why I am taking care of 5 horses and a stallion when only two are mine.  And paying for hay for all of them.    And now your uncle thinks he is going to move up here to vegetate.

I had to put Lily down and it is with a sad heart I did it.  I know you will see her again, she was a good dog.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Letter to Ricky

Well Ricky, its been over five years since your accident.  I still hope you asked for God's forgiveness, but I will pray that he will spare you.  Its hard to see how far I have come, I am one one med for depression, one for mood swings (keeps my moods calm and stable) one for anxiety which the dr wants to see me off of in six months, so I guess I get to see her again in six months.  By then my puppies would be a year old.  They are six months old now. I forgot to tell you, Sissy passed away three or so weeks ago, I couldn't let her go on dragging herself across the floor and she had quit eating.  When I took her into the vet they gave her some morphine to take all the pain away, she still looked the same, the look in her eyes were blank.  I got me two pugs a boy and a girl.  The little boy is so sweet he is all pug-loving where the little girl is more standoffish, she is smart as the boy is, so far they have found holes in our fencing out here that even we could not find!  The boy Blu has the wide-set eyes and the "Ash" forehead.  The girl Shasta is more the typical pug, all fawn colored and a black mask.  Even Jack has fallen in love with them.  He was mad at first when they first got here but he is more for them then he was at first.  Of course he as well as Dad (thats where I live now) didn't want me to get them but even dad calls them rascals too.

You would hate it down here.  The internet is DSL and is slow.  I can't even play farmville on my pc!

Town is 15 miles one way, they do their grocery shopping one day a month and go to atleast 9 stores.  There are no jobs around here unless you wanted to work as a gas attendant, bottle counter, and various other things for Betty down at the Covered Wagon.  And from what I understand its only P/T.

I guess I came out lucky in this deal.  The Lord is really looking out for me.  He has given me enough money to do the things around this place that need doing and a little spending money.  I am keeping my bills caught up, Jack helped me with the car payment until I got on my feet again financially.

Jack also got me this new phone, its the Samsung Galaxy S Aviator.  I wish I could send you pics but I hope to see you in the afterlife.  I have to go now, its time for me to start dinner.  I love you Ricky.

Sunday, December 21, 2008


Well Ricky, its now Christmas time.  Its gonna be pretty lonely without you here.  I know you would probably have to work and would be complaining like crazy about driving in this snow we have.  You would have had to put chains on to get out of the parking lot, but at least you would have been undercover to put them on. Michelle had to have Nate put chains on for her. She has mine so I only have chains for the van. You would love the weather here, it is below freezing, and for Newberg, that is cold. We even got a bunch of snow here. So much I can't even get my van open it is frozen shut, let alone get it out of the driveway! 

I know this was not your plan, to many indications you were not ready yet.  But since fate has taken you, we will be spending Christmas without you here.  Its gonna be sad not to have you here to put the kids toys together like you always did. You always did have a funny way of putting the doll houses and cars together for us.

You will be missed this Christmas.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I Miss You


I miss you so much. It still hurts and I think about you each and every day. I can still see you the first time we were allowed to see you. You had that shit eating grin on your face. I believe you were thinking the whole world can go to hell, you didn't care. I am taking care of all your finances for you, and socail security will be my last stop. I am going to file your taxes for you, I know you don't want the government getting one cent more then they deserve, and that is nothing. I need something from you. I need you to let me know somehow what you would want me to do with your games, systems, magazines and such. You know I certainly am not going to try to play them, I have a hard enough time with astroids and space invaders. The swords I am keeping except for the one that your sister has. I am staying up here instead of moving down south, I am afraid your sister might try the same rediculous thing, although not in the same way. I want to be here for her when she needs me, I am not ready for another loss. You know I will be ok someday, but for now I have to hide behind this wall so no one sees the hurt and emptyness I am feeling. Be assured, I will always love you and keep you in my heart.

Your Mother

Thursday, May 15, 2008