Tuesday, April 29, 2008

To My Son

My son took his life on April 18th, these are some of the final words to him

To My Son,
I Love you, my son. I understand why you chose the path you did, and your belief in life and what it was about. I know you were sad, depressed and troubled, and I can not forgive myself for not seeing your troubled mind. If I had taken more time to listen to you, and to share your desparation with you, you might still be here today. I miss you, my son. I am sorry I did not see your call for help. I would have gladly taken your place, you are so young and had so much to live for. Even in such a cruel world you lived in, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and the desparation you were faced with that light you were not able to see. As your journey continues, may you find Peace within yourself and forgive those who did not take time to listen to you. I love you, My Son.

Ricky Believed in Rebirth

"Everyones Birth leads to their destruction, and Destruction is a form of Rebirth. When there is no one left, only then will Humanity be set free..."

Ricky believed in Rebirth. Destruction is a form of rebirth.

Imangine a luscious forest bursting with vegitation. Trees, Shrubs, Flowers and ferns gently emerging from the dark of night, shrouded in a glistening cloak of dew.

Pure sparkling water is illuminated on the soft green leafs by the days first rays of light from the sun as it peers over the horizon. Fleeting drops descend to the undergrowth from leafs that flutter in the gentle breeze of dawn. Picture a soft, blue sky as it welcomes the rising sun into the day with not a cloud to obstruct its radiance. This day is calm and quiet. The day is perfect.
Envision, as the day begins to pass, so does the sun's glory as clouds steadily stampede into the scenery. The sun is swallowed by dark clouds, emitting the sense of an unsettling omen. In the midst of the darkness beneath the storm comes a deafening crack comparable to the voices of the gods.

A blinding light leaves the afterimage of what, in short time, be but a memory of what was once gorgeous. At last, a spark comes from the heavens transforming the forest floor into a blazing deathbead of chaos, tearing the paradise asunder. Engulfed in flames the woods, the woods are unviting.

The brush beneath the canopy crackles as searing heat devours its life. Entire trees are turned to ash. The ground is blackened and burned as acres upon acres of forest life are plummented into chaos while the flames harvest plant life.

Shortly thereafter will come silence only disturbed by the subtle effevercence of ashes and embers as they spew forth geysters of smoke. The scenery appears damned, condemned to inexistence, and destened to be forgotten, but beneath the soot lies a glimmering hope. Within the cinders is nutrition for new life. Seeds feed on the destruction and begin to grow. In time, the new life will flourish again.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Friday, April 25, 2008




I like a majority of things: video games, computers, lifting weights... mmmm ok really only 3 things i can think of off hand anyway.

Music I like all kinds of music, but Rock is probably my most favorite and my Favorite band is Disturbed cause they totally kick ass.

Movies When it comes to movies im sure some would consider me a dork but oh well, my favorites are: all 3 Lord of the Rings movies, both Spiderman movies, Bad Boys 1 & 2, The Warriors, Fantastic Four and the list goes on and on.

Television The Series Dark Angel was so awesome I liked that one, shame it only had 2 seasons, I love anime I wont start naming them off as to not to bore you. The Animated Spider-man Series that was on fox, I think it plays on Jetix now but that was an awesome series, I liked the Cel Shaded computer animated Spidey series that was on MTV as well.

Books I dont read much so enjoy this awesome video and song, its End of all Hope by Nightwish


* Listening to: Hello Zepp
* Reading: My Mind
* Eating: Fruit Loops Cereal
* Drinking: Milk from the Fruit Loops Cereal

This is just retarded.

Ok I am gonna go into a short rant about this cause I thinkg the whole thing is fucked up.

So i got a jury duty summon I dont know if I actually have to go and wont till april 24th but the thing is they take you out of your job and only pay you like $5 a day IF that and i make a little more then double that in an hour at work, and the thing can last up to 2 weeks?!?! Its fucking retarded missing 2 weeks of work would probably get me evicted from my apartments cause i wouldnt be able to afford my rent, 2 weeks is near $900 for me and they dont take that into account, they dont plan on paying my rent for me. They should have retired senior citizens do this shit rather then other people. For one senior citizens are much wiser and have more knowledge and can probably give a much better decision then some 22 year old. Secondly there retired what else are they doin with there day, they get a retirement check whether the sit at home and knit or be in a jury. What kind of courtroom would want the opinion of an immature 22 year old who hates politics, doesnt watch the news, has no idea what global warming is, couldnt care less for our judicial system, and loves to see women tied up in distressing situations? What kind of court would want that i ask you....WHAT KIND???

Alright i feel a little better now, not the best rant but it made me feel better, I think the whole jury duty thing is one of the stupidest things on the planet

When life knocks you down, go postal.



Dear IRS,

You all are a bunch of fucking assholes up there! You take my money all year making me struggle to make payments and pay bills then when taxes are due you charge me even more money that I don’t have. How do you expect me to pay this three-hundred some dollars that I owe? Are you going to assist me by giving me money out of your own pockets, I didn’t think so. Why should I pay this shit when all of it is going to end up in the hands of some unfortunate family who didn’t think there younger years through and had too many kids and now can’t support them. That’s not my fault, why should I help them support kids that I don’t know or care about? It may not end up there it could end up in the hands of someone abusing the welfare system and they are getting a shit load of money they didn’t earn and spend it on drugs and alcohol, again why the fuck should I have to give the money I bust my ass for to support these people it’s not my fucking fault they were stupid when they were younger I don’t know them, I don’t care about them, if they died tomorrow I couldn’t care less. It would probably make me happy because I would possibly get to keep my money, in fact if I would then I wish these people death I want them all to die tomorrow, if I knew who they were I’d kill them myself. There is absolutely no fucking reason I should have to give my money to these people! You government scam artists have big paychecks why don’t you give them your money instead of taking mine you fucking jerks! And another thing, why is it because I make over a certain amount a year you assume I can afford to pay taxes every year, well you couldn’t be more wrong. Prices these days are outrageously high for anything I need to make more then what I am now to even keep up yet you fucktards up there don’t seem to understand that. All in all I think you all up there need to be shot and I’d be overjoyed to do it, there would be no consequence not even death that would make me think twice about busting down the IRS door and starts pumping all your dumbasses full of led, I’d enjoy every minute of it. You all need to die in the most painful slowest way possible because you deserve it for taking money from hard working people and give it to people who are to fucking lazy to get a job and were too stupid when they were younger and got addicted to drugs and had more kids then a rabbit during mating season! I hope you all fucking DIE!


An outraged hard working American!